A couple of weeks ago, I was four miles into the daily routine when I had to stop to take a stone out of my shoe. I was at the park early because I had some evening plans. It was a blistering-hot afternoon, so when I finished tying my shoe, I sat on the shaded bench for a moment, mopping sweat.

Image: m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Just then, an SUV drove by, and a teenage girl hanging out the passenger-side window yelled something in my direction. All I heard was, “…get off your ass….” Any other pearls of wisdom she wanted to offer were lost as the vehicle sped away down the park road. I said out loud, “Are you talkin’ to ME?” I looked around—no one else in sight at the hottest part of the afternoon. She must have been talking to me.

I would like to have chased after the SUV, dragged her out of her seat, and (gently) pounded her head on the ground, while (patiently) explaining to her that I’d only been sitting there for a moment before she passed by. Since that wasn’t a practical option, I had to give myself a pep talk instead. You’re a superstar stud for doing this at 3:30 in the afternoon, no matter what some teenage bimbo stranger might think.

It’s easy enough to shrug off random acts of unkindness. She couldn’t imagine how far I’ve come and how much drive and commitment it took for me to be sitting there on that bench on that sweltering afternoon. And she was, after all, a teenage girl—a species that’s susceptible to outbursts of cruelty.

But what do you do when the unkindness comes from closer to home? It’s a strange phenomenon, but sometimes people will belittle your progress. They’ll feel the need to one-up you (“40? I’ve lost 60!”), denigrate your program (“Walking? Pilates would be much better.”), play the know-it-all (“Most people gain back all the weight they lose.”), or otherwise rain on your parade (“I don’t know why you think you need to lose weight anyway.”).

Are your naysayers envious? Competitive? Lacking in empathy? Just plain thoughtless? Don’t even try to understand their motivations. They’re probably not close friends anyway. Your real friends will always find something kind and supportive to say. They’ll tell you how great you look when you’ve just had a discouraging weigh-in. Even if they don’t understand why you’re doing what you’re doing, they know that it’s important to you.

To sum up:

Not everyone will admire what you’re doing. Some people will discourage you. But their cynicism isn’t your baggage, it’s theirs. Don’t bother carrying it for them. You have more important things to do, like getting healthy.

Last Saturday I took part in a workshop at Studio NiaMoves called “Exploring Mindful Eating.” Personal chef and food consultant Adam Miles talked about how human beings develop issues with food, and what we can do about it. His premise is that we start out with an instinctive ability to eat right, eat only when we’re hungry, and enjoy what we eat, but that we pick up bad habits, bad information, and a twisted relationship with food as we grow up. We learn to eat the wrong things, for the wrong reasons. But we can unlearn.

Adam is kind, soft-spoken, and charismatic (and slim). Having spoken to him on the phone once, I arrived at Studio NiaMoves already prepared to like him, and he made it easy. He started the session by asking each of us to talk about a food memory from childhood and a food issue we’re dealing with now. This seemed to be a tough exercise for some people, and Adam took care to thank each of us for sharing. When it was my turn, I said that I felt as if I have a good handle on my food issues these days, and that I’d only come to see what new information I might pick up, since there’s always more to learn. (I hope I didn’t sound like a self‑satisfied jerk.)

After the group sharing, Adam talked about his own experience of growing up, putting on weight, developing bad eating habits, and then cycling through lots of fad diets and self-destructive behaviors. He talked about how he got through it by eventually coming up with his philosophy of “mindful eating.” And then he outlined that philosophy. It’s mostly about choosing natural, unprocessed, healthful foods and giving eating the care, time, and attention it deserves in our lives. It’s also about being gentle with ourselves when we stray from better choices.

Toward the end of the workshop, he demonstrated a couple of easy recipes for smoothies—one fruit, one veggie. He surprised me by putting kale in the fruit smoothie and avocados in the veggie one. Although they were palatable, I can’t say that I plan to add them to my regimen. I need something I can sink my teeth into.

He said a lot more, but I was too captivated by listening to Adam speak to take any notes. I’ll just add that enjoying the support of the group and Adam’s energy and enthusiasm were worth the price of admission. I encourage anyone who’s working through issues with food—which is most of us, I think—to take his next class if you get the chance.

Adam doesn’t have a web site, but he expects to offer future workshops at Studio NiaMoves. To receive announcements, subscribe to the NiaMoves mailing list and select the category “Nutrition ~ Mindful Eating ~ Workshops.” Or become a fan of Studio NiaMoves’ Facebook page, or follow Nia’s Kristie Bryant on Twitter.